Hi Jessica! Your banner image is so precious! I love the image so much; they are all too adorable! Did you take the image yourself? You should give yourself credit for the image on your home page or whoever took it. Maybe you could choose a different photo for the banner on each page so that the image relates to the story that you’re trying to tell so that the audience can get a visual image of the story before they read it and can visualize the scene better. I like the transition you have from a happy, almost perfect scene where everything is going wonderfully for all of the brothers to an obstacle that has come up in the form of a conspiracy. I also like that you added a note that would foreshadow the experience that Beckett will gain from the exile. I really enjoyed reading your introduction and can’t wait to read the rest of your stories.
Hello Jessica! Your introduction explained the set up of your story incredibly well. The last part of your introduction was incredibly smooth to read. I also loved how you added that last sentence separated from the main text to catch the readers eye and entice them to read further into the story. I wonder what would happen if the younger brother ended up being evil? Maybe add a twist ending or possibly a double twist! I always have found stories that make my mind think to be the best reads. I do have a note for the beginning portion where you are describing the brothers. There are two sentences that describe them. Maybe instead of choosing 8 adjectives, narrow it down to 4 that are the most important. If you want to use 8, then you could use 2 per brother, which would help with the flow of the paragraph.
I really like this intro Jessica! From the header to the ending of it I was hooked. The header makes it clear and relate-able that you are talking about brothers. The way you describe the brothers as they grow up makes it known that they were rather close. Adding an element of danger and intrigue with evil men trying to take over the kingdom was an interesting twist. I hope you go into detail about how these men were able to convince the king to banish his own sons. That must have taken quite the lie. I look forward to reading about the adventure the brothers go through on their way back to the kingdom.
Hey Jessica, I just got done looking over your site and reading your introduction and I am really excited to get to continue reading what you have to write for us. Upon reading the title I was like, uh fite" shouldn't it be "fight", but then I read the introduction and it was clarified for me. What a great title it is then! I imagine that is what you were going for. Creating a little mystery for the reader, kind of pulling them in, in a way. You laid out the scene and back story for what I suppose you will later write about nicely! To me, this is exactly what I want from an introduction. Adequate information about the main characters. A good backstory about the nemesis that may be in the story. Kind of setting it up as a prelude for what is going to happen in the future. For our pasts inevitably will dictate what happens in the future in one was or another. I cant wait to see what happens to the four brothers Fite in the future! Also as a side note, I absolutely love your gif on this comment page. Parks and Rec is one of my all time faves haha.
Hey Jessica, your story seems like it will be very interesting. I enjoy parallel stories, and it will be interesting to see where you make your changes, not just in character, but also in plot. Your introduction was a nice sample of your easy going writing style and gave a good overview of what the readers can expect. One thing I might suggest is try to find a different picture for the introduction. Having the same one as the home page could cause some confusion. Also, on the main home page, I couldn’t find a link to your comment wall and had to go dig it up. You could put a few words on that page, just to make navigation easier and tell people where to go. That being said, I really like your choice of colors for the project. It is a really nice aesthetic, and the black and white banner image goes well with the teal.
Your introduction was really good! I can definitely see the source material you are pulling from and am curious to see your rendition of some of the stories from that Ramayana. I like the images you included in the website as well. They definitely add to the familial bond you seem to want to focus on in your stories. It looks like some other already mentioned it, but you may want to consider using different images in the headers for the rest of your stories. I think reusing the current one on the main and intro page is fine since they are both are just the beginning points of the story arc. However, that's just something to consider! Hope you have a good time writing the stories!
Hey Jessica! I love your introduction. It was really good and your story seems very interesting and entertaining. I think comparing with Ramayana and seeing where you changed the version is very interesting. I love the image that you have used in the website! Having different pic for every slide might be a good idea though. Maybe you could work on the home page, seems little empty but hey i loved and enjoyed your story. Keep up the good work and i am looking forward to read your next story! Love your g.i.f by the way
Hey Jessica! Your introduction is really good. It did a perfect job of giving background and setting the tone for your storybook, all while keeping the reader's attention and getting them excited for future stories. You did a really good job. I like that this will be a group of stories about the same characters. This will allows us to form a connection with them, much like in a book. For your future stories, will they all be in different perspective? Will one brother be incharge of telling the stories or will it change each time? Or will you even put it in first person? Will the story be different each time or will the same story be retold in each brother's perspective?There are so many ways you could go with this project and I look forward to seeing how it takes shape. Great job and I look forward to reading more.
Hi Jessica. Your banner looks great and will go well with your story. I do not see a source for it, so you should add that. The link to your comment wall is useful, well done. I do believe you need something along the lines of “This is a Storybook project for MLLL-4993-996 at the University of Oklahoma, Spring 2018” on your home page. I enjoyed your introduction story. The four thrones picture is great and works the story. Are those the ones from the Chronicles of Narnia movie? I would also like the picture up top to set the stage for the introduction, and maybe add more. I am curious on how the stories will be told. Do you plan on just focusing on two brothers for each story? You can do quite a bit with this setup. I look forward to your future writings of these brothers and wish you luck.
Hey Jessica, my first impression from your project was that it is different and I like the layout of the website. Reading further into the tale I could tell this was going to be an interesting tale. I like how you tied in the two brothers playing sports and the girl Sita coming to the games to watch the boys play. This reminded me of high school days; when young people are in love and they come to sport events to support the person they love. Love stories always draw my attention and make the reading fun. Maybe adding some drama to your story might bring out a different side of the story. Drama in a story always has a good outcome in the end, it brings life to the story. But overall your story was really good and I enjoyed reading it. I can not wait to read the rest of your stories this semester.
Hey Jessica! I think that your project is headed in a great direction. I love the layout of the project because it is so easy to navigate and has great images. I can tell how you truly wanted your project to show the mood of the story in the pictures, and I like how the images seem like real pictures of the boys and what not. One thing I might suggest is making your Author's note a bit more detailed on the story that you based it off of. I feel that this would do a better job of letting the reader see where everything you wrote about came from and how it developed. Other than that, I think that your introduction and first story are very entertaining and I can't wait to read more and see where this drama is headed. I also wonder if the stories will be narrated by each one of the brothers... this could be a fun idea for the way you move into it.
Hi Jessica! I loved your introduction! I feel like I am getting to know these brothers, and the picture you chose as the banner was perfect for what you're writing. I was thankful, also, for the author's note, because it helped me to see where your mind was when you wrote out your storyline. I think your representation of Rama and Sita is great! I did notice a slip up, calling Maggie "Sita," by accident, but I know that must be easy to do when they are one in the same in your head.I would love to get a little more of the idea of setting for this story, because I'm curious if it is a modern retelling and where exactly it takes place. Mentioning a head coach instead of a master trainer tells me it might be more modern, but a bit more detail would be awesome. I'm sure that will come with later additions! Great work. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Hi Jessica! I can tell a lot of hard work and thought has gone into your project. I think you have done a fantastic job in describing the lives of the four brothers. The introduction was great and had a lot of details. I really like how you described how close knit the brothers were. I think that element added a lot to the story. Also, I think that how you brought in the story of Rama and Sita was really clever! Well done! The layout and look of your project website looks fantastic, but I think there was one element missing: pictures. You include a couple of pictures, but I think that if you were to add more pictures throughout the text it not only would help the reader understand the sequence of events that happen throughout your stories it also would help break up your text. I look forward to reading more from you in the future! Good luck on the rest of your project!
Hey Jessica! I love your banner photo. It is so cute! I really like the title too. I think you did a good job describing the brothers! It reminds me of the five Pandavas but in your own original version! I think your introduction did a great job setting the background information for the stories to come. I also think that it created a nice tone for the rest of your stories. I can tell that the brothers are very close to one another. I was hooked throughout the whole story! The concluding sentence is cherry on top. It made me very intrigued to read your second story. I love how you made the story your own! I can definitely see where you drew your inspiration from the author's notes. I look forward to reading more of your material!
Hi, Jessica!! First of all, your header photo is so stinking adorable!! Your website is very well planned out and easy to navigate! That is so helpful for people like me that are not very good with technology. In your introduction, I love the way you have set the brother’s relationship. I love that you have portrayed this brotherly love right off the bat. Also, your photo reminds me of Narnia!! Moving on to your stories, I love the humor! Jokes can make a story so much more engaging. Along with this, your descriptions and imagery are incredible! I can actually visualize the characters. In your authors note, I really appreciate your clarifications! It helps that you chose to give us your character list. Clever! I really enjoyed reading your story and I can wait to read more. Best of luck on the remainder of your semester. Keep up the good work!
Jessica, I love you introduction to the project, it gets everything started off on the right foot and allows the reader to jump right into the stories themselves without needing more time to get acclimated to the setting. You anachronistic setting is one that I have not seen in any projects yet, but you interweave the narrative of baseball with the idea of Kingdoms and Monarchies very well. The love interest in your first story also provides a motivation, to carry forward into other stories. In the second story, the lighter touch of just being boys in the backyard made the story feel more approachable, while presenting the same message. You do a great job in both stories of letting the reader see the character parallels you are making, so that reading your author's note only confirmed each character's true identity. I look forward to reading more of your work, best of luck as you close out the semester.
Loved your introduction! I love how you're putting a modern spin on the Ramayana. The introduction was very captivating. I looked through to find grammatical mistakes, but the introduction was flawless. Very good catch on not having any run-on sentences either. The parallelism between the stories is very nice. Reading through two meeting definitely solidify my thought that you have an exceptional writing ability. I remember reading the baseball story earlier in the semester and love how well you tied it into your project. You overarching theme is very noticeable. I think the beginning could be made shorter by cutting some of the dialogues before the brother's encounter the Head Coach. Overall, great job on tying everything together. Your design and layout flow very well with the theme of your story.
Hi Jessica! This is my second time visiting your project. The last time I visited only the introduction was posted, so I was really looking forward to your stories. Your first story, "Two Meetings," was so good. I really liked the retelling of this story. I also wrote a story about Sita and Rama meeting, but I really like your version. It is very creative. I really like how you added in more background about how they met their advisor. This added a really nice touch to the story. I thought the detail was really good. Great job with this story. Your second story, "One Battle," was amazing. I was on the edge with this one. I really thought that Owen was going to die. You did a great job making the reader think one thing was going to happen and then changing the ending. This was a great story. Overall, your project is really good. Good luck with the rest of the semester and I look forward to seeing your finished product.
Hey Jessica!! It is great to finally get the chance to read your project. Starting with the layout of you blog, the photo was so adorable! I really liked how simple and easy to navigate the blog was. It is great to see how developed your blog is. With your introduction and two stories, there was a great flow. The introduction was very well written. I was really excited to read the other stories to see how all of the family drama would unfold. What gave you the idea to discuss this topic for your main project? Have you enjoyed writing these stories so far? Overall, all of your stories have had a good style to them. Honestly, your stories were very fun to read and I felt like I was able to understand the epics more through a different perspective. Keep up all of the good work! I will be looking forward to reading your third story.
Hey, Jessica, I really like the concept of your storybook. Its creative and I think it gives you a lot of material to work with to come up with some great stories, which you did. Your site flows really well, looks great design wise, and the images work well with the content of the site. I really enjoyed your retellings of stories from the Ramayana. The character list in the author's note from your second story was a great addition and helped me keep all the characters straight while I was reading. Also, humor is difficult to write and you did it very well, it's a great way to bring a lightness of mood to the stories. I don't really have any revision suggestions writing wise because the writing is great. I think adding some sort of other media to your site would just take your project to another level. I don't know, I've been saying that a lot lately on projects because they're all so good otherwise. Just something to think about. Well done!
Hi Jessica! For starters, I love the layout of your Storybook; it is clean and simple yet you added a personal touch with the picture of the brothers. Based on your Introduction, I kind of got the vibe of the Pandavas. Brothers who loved each other and cared for each through thick and thin. Your Introduction was written extremely well and I was able to paint a picture while reading it. In your story "Two Meetings," I liked how the first words of the story were the rigorous routine that Beckett and Owen encounter everyday, which I believed set the whole story up. The story just flowed from there and I like the modern twists you added to it like the baseball game, which eventually lead to meeting Maggie. My favorite story you wrote was "One Battle," because it was upbeat and kept readers curious of what was to happen to Owen, which eventually lead to a happy ending. In your Author's Note, I liked how you related the characters of your story to the Indian epics characters. That was a nice touch that maybe you can add to "Two Meetings" to be consistent throughout your stories. Overall, nice job - keep up the great work! :)
Hi Jessica, first of all your blog is really easy to navigate. I really appreciate how you have an introduction and stories and it is very simple and easy to go through. One thing I really appreciate is the stories that you included. My favorite story is the one where Maggie ends up meeting to the bad guys and fighting them. The authors notes is also really useful because now i understand exactly where you are coming from and how you came up with the stories. I really appreciate this and I look forward to reading more! Thanks for sharing!
Hello Jessica. I really liked your project. Your site was set up really well and I liked the images that you used. I liked that all of your stories followed the brothers and how they tied together. It was really interesting to go through the stories as they developed and went through their lives. I though this was a really creative take on the Pandavas, as well as Rama and other characters. I liked how despite all the details being different you were able to keep the central message intact. I also liked how informative your authors notes were. they helped me understand the stories, as well as tie them into to the class. I could not really think of anyway you could improve your project. Even though your pictures were scarce and simple I thought this worked very well with the theme of your project. Overall really great work, keep it up.
I was so impressed by your storybook! It reads like an actual book and I was sad when the stories ran out. Also, the names you picked for all the brothers were super cute! I am glad that there was a happy ending, because there is nothing worse than a sad ending, but I hate that they hate to be apart for so long. You did a great job of tying each story to a story from the indian epics and I especially liked “One Battle”. I am glad you included a key at the bottom so we knew how the characters lined up. You also did a great job of being creative with the stories while still maintaining the theme of the overall story so keeping the loyalty, love, and family focus! I am so glad I got the chance to read this before the semester ended!
Hi Jessica! Your banner image is so precious! I love the image so much; they are all too adorable! Did you take the image yourself? You should give yourself credit for the image on your home page or whoever took it. Maybe you could choose a different photo for the banner on each page so that the image relates to the story that you’re trying to tell so that the audience can get a visual image of the story before they read it and can visualize the scene better. I like the transition you have from a happy, almost perfect scene where everything is going wonderfully for all of the brothers to an obstacle that has come up in the form of a conspiracy. I also like that you added a note that would foreshadow the experience that Beckett will gain from the exile. I really enjoyed reading your introduction and can’t wait to read the rest of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHello Jessica! Your introduction explained the set up of your story incredibly well. The last part of your introduction was incredibly smooth to read. I also loved how you added that last sentence separated from the main text to catch the readers eye and entice them to read further into the story. I wonder what would happen if the younger brother ended up being evil? Maybe add a twist ending or possibly a double twist! I always have found stories that make my mind think to be the best reads. I do have a note for the beginning portion where you are describing the brothers. There are two sentences that describe them. Maybe instead of choosing 8 adjectives, narrow it down to 4 that are the most important. If you want to use 8, then you could use 2 per brother, which would help with the flow of the paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI really like this intro Jessica! From the header to the ending of it I was hooked. The header makes it clear and relate-able that you are talking about brothers. The way you describe the brothers as they grow up makes it known that they were rather close. Adding an element of danger and intrigue with evil men trying to take over the kingdom was an interesting twist. I hope you go into detail about how these men were able to convince the king to banish his own sons. That must have taken quite the lie. I look forward to reading about the adventure the brothers go through on their way back to the kingdom.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica, I just got done looking over your site and reading your introduction and I am really excited to get to continue reading what you have to write for us. Upon reading the title I was like, uh
ReplyDeletefite" shouldn't it be "fight", but then I read the introduction and it was clarified for me. What a great title it is then! I imagine that is what you were going for. Creating a little mystery for the reader, kind of pulling them in, in a way. You laid out the scene and back story for what I suppose you will later write about nicely! To me, this is exactly what I want from an introduction. Adequate information about the main characters. A good backstory about the nemesis that may be in the story. Kind of setting it up as a prelude for what is going to happen in the future. For our pasts inevitably will dictate what happens in the future in one was or another. I cant wait to see what happens to the four brothers Fite in the future! Also as a side note, I absolutely love your gif on this comment page. Parks and Rec is one of my all time faves haha.
Hey Jessica, your story seems like it will be very interesting. I enjoy parallel stories, and it will be interesting to see where you make your changes, not just in character, but also in plot. Your introduction was a nice sample of your easy going writing style and gave a good overview of what the readers can expect. One thing I might suggest is try to find a different picture for the introduction. Having the same one as the home page could cause some confusion. Also, on the main home page, I couldn’t find a link to your comment wall and had to go dig it up. You could put a few words on that page, just to make navigation easier and tell people where to go. That being said, I really like your choice of colors for the project. It is a really nice aesthetic, and the black and white banner image goes well with the teal.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was really good! I can definitely see the source material you are pulling from and am curious to see your rendition of some of the stories from that Ramayana. I like the images you included in the website as well. They definitely add to the familial bond you seem to want to focus on in your stories. It looks like some other already mentioned it, but you may want to consider using different images in the headers for the rest of your stories. I think reusing the current one on the main and intro page is fine since they are both are just the beginning points of the story arc. However, that's just something to consider! Hope you have a good time writing the stories!
Hey Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI love your introduction. It was really good and your story seems very interesting and entertaining. I think comparing with Ramayana and seeing where you changed the version is very interesting. I love the image that you have used in the website! Having different pic for every slide might be a good idea though. Maybe you could work on the home page, seems little empty but hey i loved and enjoyed your story. Keep up the good work and i am looking forward to read your next story! Love your g.i.f by the way
Hey Jessica! Your introduction is really good. It did a perfect job of giving background and setting the tone for your storybook, all while keeping the reader's attention and getting them excited for future stories. You did a really good job. I like that this will be a group of stories about the same characters. This will allows us to form a connection with them, much like in a book. For your future stories, will they all be in different perspective? Will one brother be incharge of telling the stories or will it change each time? Or will you even put it in first person? Will the story be different each time or will the same story be retold in each brother's perspective?There are so many ways you could go with this project and I look forward to seeing how it takes shape. Great job and I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica. Your banner looks great and will go well with your story. I do not see a source for it, so you should add that. The link to your comment wall is useful, well done. I do believe you need something along the lines of “This is a Storybook project for MLLL-4993-996 at the University of Oklahoma, Spring 2018” on your home page. I enjoyed your introduction story. The four thrones picture is great and works the story. Are those the ones from the Chronicles of Narnia movie? I would also like the picture up top to set the stage for the introduction, and maybe add more. I am curious on how the stories will be told. Do you plan on just focusing on two brothers for each story? You can do quite a bit with this setup. I look forward to your future writings of these brothers and wish you luck.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica, my first impression from your project was that it is different and I like the layout of the website. Reading further into the tale I could tell this was going to be an interesting tale. I like how you tied in the two brothers playing sports and the girl Sita coming to the games to watch the boys play. This reminded me of high school days; when young people are in love and they come to sport events to support the person they love. Love stories always draw my attention and make the reading fun. Maybe adding some drama to your story might bring out a different side of the story. Drama in a story always has a good outcome in the end, it brings life to the story. But overall your story was really good and I enjoyed reading it. I can not wait to read the rest of your stories this semester.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica! I think that your project is headed in a great direction. I love the layout of the project because it is so easy to navigate and has great images. I can tell how you truly wanted your project to show the mood of the story in the pictures, and I like how the images seem like real pictures of the boys and what not. One thing I might suggest is making your Author's note a bit more detailed on the story that you based it off of. I feel that this would do a better job of letting the reader see where everything you wrote about came from and how it developed. Other than that, I think that your introduction and first story are very entertaining and I can't wait to read more and see where this drama is headed. I also wonder if the stories will be narrated by each one of the brothers... this could be a fun idea for the way you move into it.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica! I loved your introduction! I feel like I am getting to know these brothers, and the picture you chose as the banner was perfect for what you're writing. I was thankful, also, for the author's note, because it helped me to see where your mind was when you wrote out your storyline. I think your representation of Rama and Sita is great! I did notice a slip up, calling Maggie "Sita," by accident, but I know that must be easy to do when they are one in the same in your head.I would love to get a little more of the idea of setting for this story, because I'm curious if it is a modern retelling and where exactly it takes place. Mentioning a head coach instead of a master trainer tells me it might be more modern, but a bit more detail would be awesome. I'm sure that will come with later additions! Great work. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica! I can tell a lot of hard work and thought has gone into your project. I think you have done a fantastic job in describing the lives of the four brothers. The introduction was great and had a lot of details. I really like how you described how close knit the brothers were. I think that element added a lot to the story. Also, I think that how you brought in the story of Rama and Sita was really clever! Well done! The layout and look of your project website looks fantastic, but I think there was one element missing: pictures. You include a couple of pictures, but I think that if you were to add more pictures throughout the text it not only would help the reader understand the sequence of events that happen throughout your stories it also would help break up your text. I look forward to reading more from you in the future! Good luck on the rest of your project!
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica! I love your banner photo. It is so cute! I really like the title too. I think you did a good job describing the brothers! It reminds me of the five Pandavas but in your own original version! I think your introduction did a great job setting the background information for the stories to come. I also think that it created a nice tone for the rest of your stories. I can tell that the brothers are very close to one another. I was hooked throughout the whole story! The concluding sentence is cherry on top. It made me very intrigued to read your second story. I love how you made the story your own! I can definitely see where you drew your inspiration from the author's notes. I look forward to reading more of your material!
ReplyDeleteHi, Jessica!! First of all, your header photo is so stinking adorable!! Your website is very well planned out and easy to navigate! That is so helpful for people like me that are not very good with technology. In your introduction, I love the way you have set the brother’s relationship. I love that you have portrayed this brotherly love right off the bat. Also, your photo reminds me of Narnia!! Moving on to your stories, I love the humor! Jokes can make a story so much more engaging. Along with this, your descriptions and imagery are incredible! I can actually visualize the characters. In your authors note, I really appreciate your clarifications! It helps that you chose to give us your character list. Clever! I really enjoyed reading your story and I can wait to read more. Best of luck on the remainder of your semester. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteJessica, I love you introduction to the project, it gets everything started off on the right foot and allows the reader to jump right into the stories themselves without needing more time to get acclimated to the setting. You anachronistic setting is one that I have not seen in any projects yet, but you interweave the narrative of baseball with the idea of Kingdoms and Monarchies very well. The love interest in your first story also provides a motivation, to carry forward into other stories. In the second story, the lighter touch of just being boys in the backyard made the story feel more approachable, while presenting the same message. You do a great job in both stories of letting the reader see the character parallels you are making, so that reading your author's note only confirmed each character's true identity. I look forward to reading more of your work, best of luck as you close out the semester.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica!
ReplyDeleteLoved your introduction! I love how you're putting a modern spin on the Ramayana. The introduction was very captivating. I looked through to find grammatical mistakes, but the introduction was flawless. Very good catch on not having any run-on sentences either. The parallelism between the stories is very nice. Reading through two meeting definitely solidify my thought that you have an exceptional writing ability. I remember reading the baseball story earlier in the semester and love how well you tied it into your project. You overarching theme is very noticeable. I think the beginning could be made shorter by cutting some of the dialogues before the brother's encounter the Head Coach. Overall, great job on tying everything together. Your design and layout flow very well with the theme of your story.
Hi Jessica! This is my second time visiting your project. The last time I visited only the introduction was posted, so I was really looking forward to your stories. Your first story, "Two Meetings," was so good. I really liked the retelling of this story. I also wrote a story about Sita and Rama meeting, but I really like your version. It is very creative. I really like how you added in more background about how they met their advisor. This added a really nice touch to the story. I thought the detail was really good. Great job with this story. Your second story, "One Battle," was amazing. I was on the edge with this one. I really thought that Owen was going to die. You did a great job making the reader think one thing was going to happen and then changing the ending. This was a great story. Overall, your project is really good. Good luck with the rest of the semester and I look forward to seeing your finished product.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica!! It is great to finally get the chance to read your project. Starting with the layout of you blog, the photo was so adorable! I really liked how simple and easy to navigate the blog was. It is great to see how developed your blog is. With your introduction and two stories, there was a great flow. The introduction was very well written. I was really excited to read the other stories to see how all of the family drama would unfold. What gave you the idea to discuss this topic for your main project? Have you enjoyed writing these stories so far? Overall, all of your stories have had a good style to them. Honestly, your stories were very fun to read and I felt like I was able to understand the epics more through a different perspective. Keep up all of the good work! I will be looking forward to reading your third story.
ReplyDeleteHey, Jessica, I really like the concept of your storybook. Its creative and I think it gives you a lot of material to work with to come up with some great stories, which you did. Your site flows really well, looks great design wise, and the images work well with the content of the site. I really enjoyed your retellings of stories from the Ramayana. The character list in the author's note from your second story was a great addition and helped me keep all the characters straight while I was reading. Also, humor is difficult to write and you did it very well, it's a great way to bring a lightness of mood to the stories. I don't really have any revision suggestions writing wise because the writing is great. I think adding some sort of other media to your site would just take your project to another level. I don't know, I've been saying that a lot lately on projects because they're all so good otherwise. Just something to think about. Well done!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica! For starters, I love the layout of your Storybook; it is clean and simple yet you added a personal touch with the picture of the brothers. Based on your Introduction, I kind of got the vibe of the Pandavas. Brothers who loved each other and cared for each through thick and thin. Your Introduction was written extremely well and I was able to paint a picture while reading it. In your story "Two Meetings," I liked how the first words of the story were the rigorous routine that Beckett and Owen encounter everyday, which I believed set the whole story up. The story just flowed from there and I like the modern twists you added to it like the baseball game, which eventually lead to meeting Maggie. My favorite story you wrote was "One Battle," because it was upbeat and kept readers curious of what was to happen to Owen, which eventually lead to a happy ending. In your Author's Note, I liked how you related the characters of your story to the Indian epics characters. That was a nice touch that maybe you can add to "Two Meetings" to be consistent throughout your stories. Overall, nice job - keep up the great work! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica, first of all your blog is really easy to navigate. I really appreciate how you have an introduction and stories and it is very simple and easy to go through. One thing I really appreciate is the stories that you included. My favorite story is the one where Maggie ends up meeting to the bad guys and fighting them. The authors notes is also really useful because now i understand exactly where you are coming from and how you came up with the stories. I really appreciate this and I look forward to reading more! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHello Jessica. I really liked your project. Your site was set up really well and I liked the images that you used. I liked that all of your stories followed the brothers and how they tied together. It was really interesting to go through the stories as they developed and went through their lives. I though this was a really creative take on the Pandavas, as well as Rama and other characters. I liked how despite all the details being different you were able to keep the central message intact. I also liked how informative your authors notes were. they helped me understand the stories, as well as tie them into to the class. I could not really think of anyway you could improve your project. Even though your pictures were scarce and simple I thought this worked very well with the theme of your project. Overall really great work, keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHey, Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI was so impressed by your storybook! It reads like an actual book and I was sad when the stories ran out. Also, the names you picked for all the brothers were super cute! I am glad that there was a happy ending, because there is nothing worse than a sad ending, but I hate that they hate to be apart for so long. You did a great job of tying each story to a story from the indian epics and I especially liked “One Battle”. I am glad you included a key at the bottom so we knew how the characters lined up. You also did a great job of being creative with the stories while still maintaining the theme of the overall story so keeping the loyalty, love, and family focus! I am so glad I got the chance to read this before the semester ended!